Right Speech

How often do we engage in worthless speech? How much of our speech is potentially harmful to others? Try for one day to not gossip, not say anything negative, and not say anything about anyone that you would not say if they were standing in front of you.

Refusing Gifts

Once the Buddha, who was awakening from his meditation, looked down and declared that he would bring blessings to those who brought him evil and do good to those who harmed him. A man from the village nearby, hearing this, came to him the next day, cursed at him, and struck him. The Buddha said nothing. The man cursed and struck again, demanding a response. Again the Buddha said nothing. A third time the man cursed and struck him, this time with a stick leaving a large black bruise across the Buddha's shoulder. The Buddha did not respond. As the man turned to leave the Buddha finally spoke to him "when one man gives another a gift, but the person will not take it, who does the gift belong to?" The man responded that it belonged to the giver. The Buddha returned, "Likewise do I refuse your gift." There are a few variations of this story but the gist of them and the endings are all essentially the same. It has remained one of my favorites since I first heard it more than ten years ago. It seems obvious enough what the message is but putting it into practice is the hard part. How many of us take everything personally? How often do we let the words of others affect how we behave? If we allow ourselves to be so easily affected than who is in control, others or ourselves? The truth is that we let others control us all the time. We all have rules that say if we are talked to in a certain way then we will be offended, angry, sad, etc. When a person is using harsh or discourteous language they are usually expecting to gain a specific result from the intended target. So what happens if they don't get what they are expecting? What if they don't get the anger or offense they intended to receive? The effect is that all the power is sapped out of their actions. The bomb didn't go off!! What the hell do we do now? When someone is trying to discourage you from a course of action, refuse their gift. When someone is trying to insult you, refuse their gift. When someone talks behind your back and you find out about it, refuse the gift. Don't take anything personally. When we take things personally we are giving power to those who would like to knock us down. We are feeding into their negative energy. We are also involved with a false identity of of ourselves. We believe that there is some permanent thing that has been hurt. We say I have been hurt. But what is this "I" that has been damaged? It is a false mind created mirage. It has no objective reality. That which we call "I" is nothing more than a series of constantly changing mental perceptions and formations derived from our physical senses.
We can also use others negativity to practice mindfully. It is the obstacles in our lives, the challenges that really allow us to transcend our false view of reality and connect with something deeper. These challenges allow us to take serious self-examination and see that there really is nothing that has been damaged or hurt. The only damage exists in the mind as the ego tries to reassert itself and its limited view of the world. It is the ego that makes us embarrassed, angry, sad etc. If you turn your attention fully to the present and drop the past and future then there can be nothing to be angry about. One thing I've found that helps to transform the negativity of others is to imagine myself as a sort of vaporous form that the negativity just passes through. You do this while the negativity is coming at you. Just imagine that you are not solid and the force of the negative energy just passes right through.

How many dung piles litter the pasture of your mind?

Big Ego

Do you know someone who has a big ego? I'm sure you do. What do you think of when you imagine that person? Probably someone who is very proud of themselves and very self-involved. The person that has a big ego lives in a serious state of self-delusion. Their identity is built on a house of cards. They believe they are their possessions and desires or perhaps they are very good looking and their entire identity is based on forms and judging others based on forms. People with big egos spend their days trying to separate reality into little boxes that make them feel comfortable with themselves and think they have it all figured out. I'm better than so and so because I've done x. So and so is a loser because of ____. That person is fat. That person is ugly. That person is too skinny. I'm smarter than Bill because I went to college and he didn't. All of these points of view foster the false belief that one is superior to others in some way. It also exposes the true inner workings of such a mind; insecure and inwardly embarrassed. Why is this over inflated sense of self so dangerous? One reason is that the person is set up for a monumental fall if one of their false notions of reality is not met. As soon as the world doesn't conform to their preconceived notions they are in for a reality that their beliefs cannot explain and that makes them uncomfortable. So what is a big ego? False identification of self and others. False identification of sense objects. False identification of mental objects. If one honestly asks, who am I, they will not find one permanent lasting thing that they can point to. The ego is a mind trick that is based on memory traces and future projections. I am my past, is false because the past is merely a memory trace in the mind. You may object and say that other people also may view the person based on their past memory traces of that person. This is unreliable. If you ask ten different people their opinion on a person you will come up with ten different opinions. So which one do you rely on? This is why it is insanity to worry about what other people think of you. What they think of you is only their own false projection. So if the mind looks at ego what does it find that it can grasp hold of that will not change? Some people identify themselves strongly through the body, but the body lives and dies each moment. The liver completely renews it self every few weeks. Cells die and are replaced with new ones. Every cell in your body has been replaced in five years. Some people identify themselves through their thoughts and corresponding emotions. Today I'm happy. Right now I'm mad. Tomorrow when I'm off work it will be great. The thoughts are not stable and even in the most rigid personality are constantly changing so we cannot rely on this basis either. How about our accomplishments? I'm a professor, I'm a mechanic, I'm a computer analyst, I climbed Mt. Everest. When we meet someone, how often do we ask what they do for a living? Quite often. The reason we do this is because we feel that if we know someone’s occupation we know all about him or her. So think for a moment about your job and ask yourself if that is all there is to you. Almost everyone will say naught. We all have extra likes, dislikes, hopes, dreams, and desires apart from our jobs. If identifying someone through their occupation were all there was to knowing that person we could say that since Ralph is a college professor and hates broccoli all college professors hate broccoli. Of course this is ridiculous. So the next time you are going to ask someone what they do for a living try and remember that you cannot base your view of them on the answer. What of the people that identify themselves thorough their desires and goals? In two years I'll be ___. I want to ___. It seems needless to say that the answer to those statements will also constantly change based on present circumstances. What then does the ego have to justify its existence? If there is not one thing in us that is not permanent and unchanging then the ego is truly a false sense of self. What we can know is the pure essence of being by quieting down all this self created nonsense and returning to our source. The source cannot be named, described, or chopped into bits. Thinking separates reality apart from what it really is. As soon as we label or sector our experience we have lost the true experience. Try to describe what chocolate tastes like. Try to give words to how the cool breeze on a hot summer day feels on your face. You may come up with certain adjectives but they will not give anyone the actual experience. It is beyond words and mental projections. As Lao Tzu said, “The way that can be named is not the eternal way.”

Who?

Who? That is the question to ask yourself when you encounter any negative emotion. Who is embarrassed? Who is angry? Who, Who, Who? Like an owl. To get the appropriate answer you must penetrate deeply to the core of your being. At first who? will have little effect because it is just a surface scraping but if you persist you can have a tremendous insight into the nature of your self. If you are angry, ask who is angry. Who, what permanent thing can I find within that is experiencing this anger? Are my toes angry, are my hands angry, is my belly button angry? Who is the one that is angry? Is it just my mind? Is it my mental construct of self that is angry. Who is the permanent entity that exists in me that is angry? Can I find any part of myself from birth till now that is changeless and unceasing? If not then who is angry?
Who?

Time Sickness

Almost everyone I know seems to suffer from what I call time sickness. By time sickness I mean an overidentification of the self based on time. Most people obtain their sense of self from a reference that exists in the past or what they would like to achieve in the future. This is a false ego centered creation that has no basis in reality. Why? Because there is no past and there will be no future.
What we perceive as the past is really just a series of former present moments. What we project of the future is a future present moment. In other words all you have is right now, the present moment.
Reality is not "clock time". Clock time is an artificial creation that is a useful reference tool for our daily lives other that that there is no clock time. The only time you ever have or that has ever existed is right now. There could be no other time. If you are thinking of the past you are doing it right now. If you are projecting into the future you are doing it right now. This is not to say that we should not use the past as a useful reference to what is happening right now but that is the only function it should serve.
If you are experiencing great anxiety over an event that has passed you only need to remember that you are right here right now. The past transgression exists only in your mind and only has the power that you give to it. This is not an oversimplification. Once you drop the ego identified clock time creation it is a truly liberating experience. People claim that you cannot change the past but this is untrue. You can transform the past right now by turning all of your attention to the present moment.
I'm not saying that you should abandon all future plans either. It is fine to have a general idea of where you want to go. However, you should not become so concerned with the future that you lose track of the present. Ultimately if you have some objective you would like to achieve what you do right now is what really matters the most. It is the actions we complete right now that will ultimately affect whether our future objective is met or not. If you are so lost on what you would like to happen that you spend all of your time in thought how will you ever manifest the desired outcome. The answer is by returning to the here and now.

Meditation

This is a meditation that I use when it seems my mind is having trouble shutting off and returning to the present. Sit in your favorite chair or meditation posture. On your in breath silently say right here, out breath right now. In: right here, out: right now. Another variation is In: just this, out: right here.