Big Ego

Do you know someone who has a big ego? I'm sure you do. What do you think of when you imagine that person? Probably someone who is very proud of themselves and very self-involved. The person that has a big ego lives in a serious state of self-delusion. Their identity is built on a house of cards. They believe they are their possessions and desires or perhaps they are very good looking and their entire identity is based on forms and judging others based on forms. People with big egos spend their days trying to separate reality into little boxes that make them feel comfortable with themselves and think they have it all figured out. I'm better than so and so because I've done x. So and so is a loser because of ____. That person is fat. That person is ugly. That person is too skinny. I'm smarter than Bill because I went to college and he didn't. All of these points of view foster the false belief that one is superior to others in some way. It also exposes the true inner workings of such a mind; insecure and inwardly embarrassed. Why is this over inflated sense of self so dangerous? One reason is that the person is set up for a monumental fall if one of their false notions of reality is not met. As soon as the world doesn't conform to their preconceived notions they are in for a reality that their beliefs cannot explain and that makes them uncomfortable. So what is a big ego? False identification of self and others. False identification of sense objects. False identification of mental objects. If one honestly asks, who am I, they will not find one permanent lasting thing that they can point to. The ego is a mind trick that is based on memory traces and future projections. I am my past, is false because the past is merely a memory trace in the mind. You may object and say that other people also may view the person based on their past memory traces of that person. This is unreliable. If you ask ten different people their opinion on a person you will come up with ten different opinions. So which one do you rely on? This is why it is insanity to worry about what other people think of you. What they think of you is only their own false projection. So if the mind looks at ego what does it find that it can grasp hold of that will not change? Some people identify themselves strongly through the body, but the body lives and dies each moment. The liver completely renews it self every few weeks. Cells die and are replaced with new ones. Every cell in your body has been replaced in five years. Some people identify themselves through their thoughts and corresponding emotions. Today I'm happy. Right now I'm mad. Tomorrow when I'm off work it will be great. The thoughts are not stable and even in the most rigid personality are constantly changing so we cannot rely on this basis either. How about our accomplishments? I'm a professor, I'm a mechanic, I'm a computer analyst, I climbed Mt. Everest. When we meet someone, how often do we ask what they do for a living? Quite often. The reason we do this is because we feel that if we know someone’s occupation we know all about him or her. So think for a moment about your job and ask yourself if that is all there is to you. Almost everyone will say naught. We all have extra likes, dislikes, hopes, dreams, and desires apart from our jobs. If identifying someone through their occupation were all there was to knowing that person we could say that since Ralph is a college professor and hates broccoli all college professors hate broccoli. Of course this is ridiculous. So the next time you are going to ask someone what they do for a living try and remember that you cannot base your view of them on the answer. What of the people that identify themselves thorough their desires and goals? In two years I'll be ___. I want to ___. It seems needless to say that the answer to those statements will also constantly change based on present circumstances. What then does the ego have to justify its existence? If there is not one thing in us that is not permanent and unchanging then the ego is truly a false sense of self. What we can know is the pure essence of being by quieting down all this self created nonsense and returning to our source. The source cannot be named, described, or chopped into bits. Thinking separates reality apart from what it really is. As soon as we label or sector our experience we have lost the true experience. Try to describe what chocolate tastes like. Try to give words to how the cool breeze on a hot summer day feels on your face. You may come up with certain adjectives but they will not give anyone the actual experience. It is beyond words and mental projections. As Lao Tzu said, “The way that can be named is not the eternal way.”